theCara

Comedying and caffeinating

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Performing Wednesday, June 19 - Jason Mack Presents Real Live Comedians

Jason’s a good friend of mine, a fun comedian and fabu comedy producer. I’m excited to be in this show as an “also”!

Are you ready for some hot, live stand-up comedian action? Producer/performer Jason Mack brings you Real Live Comedians, a hilarious monthly showcase with some of the funniest talent in the Bay Area! Each show features a unique lineup of comics from national tours and festivals as well as local clubs and events such as SF Sketchfest, Rooster T Feathers, the Punch Line, Cobb’s and more. Our next show is June 19! Featuring Clare O’Kane (SF Punch Line), Bert DiVietri (SF Sketchfest), & Matt Casey (SJ Improv) Also: Jason Mack, Cara Tramontano & TJ Kelsall

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Glorious Friday schadenfreude

1) Lil’ Wayne’s show in Concord, CA is selling so poorly it’s on Groupon
2) The link for the Lil’ Wayne show on Groupon is for “Counting Crows and The Wallflowers.”
3) I get to use the word schadenfreude today
4) I will never earn as much money as Lil’ Wayne has earned. However…
5) I will never have to pay as much child support as Lil’ Wayne

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Worried Obama might lose the election. Did you know up to 47% of Americans keep more of their millions in offshore accounts than Romney?
theCara

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When the Niners move to Santa Clara, instead of sounding a foghorn every TD, Siri’s voice will announce “I found 7 ways you’ve been served.
theCara

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“We can dance if we want to. We can leave your friends behind… I say, we can go where we want to. A place where they will never find.” —Men Without Hats, “Safety Dance”

More like Stranger Danger Dance to me, you creepy Canadians.

theCara

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Last week North Carolina outlawed gay marriage. So to balance things out, this week San Francisco made it legal to marry anyone, regardless of sexual orientation, except people from North Carolina.


Al Gore is thrilled, since Current TV is headquartered in San Francisco. “I’m sorry, it’s illegal for me to marry you after this massage. I’m from North Carolina”

theCara

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I am pro-life because without babies, how else would we get baby oil?
theCara

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When I was a kid, my friends were the children of my parents’ friends. Then my parents announced they were divorcing. And I was like, wait, you’ll have to make new friends? You mean I’ll have twice as many friends? Divorce is awesome!
theCara

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tenderloingeographicsociety: “This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and everything unutterably small or great in your life will have to return to you, all in the same succession and sequence—even this spider and this moonlight between the trees, and even this moment and I myself. The eternal hourglass of existence is turned upside down again and again, and you with it.” —Friedrich Nietzsche on the San Francisco rental market

tenderloingeographicsociety:

“This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and everything unutterably small or great in your life will have to return to you, all in the same succession and sequence—even this spider and this moonlight between the trees, and even this moment and I myself. The eternal hourglass of existence is turned upside down again and again, and you with it.”
—Friedrich Nietzsche on the San Francisco rental market

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Some have criticized Obama for taking so long evolving to support gay marriage. Those people forget that it’s taking Rush Limbaugh over 60 years to evolve a likable personality.
theCara

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It’s hard planning the crime of the century when technologically we’re not even in this century’s terrible teens. What’s a good crime of 2012 Q2 - red carpet cheese-bombing Lana Del Rey?
theCara